Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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