no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
