sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
