i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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