Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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