i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He felt like a one man threesome
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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