Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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