My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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