My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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