I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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