i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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