Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
