i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
