just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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