Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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