angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I want a musical about memes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
