i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
