is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
