thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
