Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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