As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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