I hate your face
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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