maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
