Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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