Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize