she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize