You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
