btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
