We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
