Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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