There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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