i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
