It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Operation Purity has been aborted
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
