You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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