Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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