remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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