My sheets look like a crime scene.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
