Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
