Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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