Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
