your parents love me but you hate me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You can't motorboat a personality
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize