and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
