i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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