I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
