yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
