last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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