If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
