i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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