I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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