What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
