I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She even gives head with a lisp.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize