You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Where is the hickey?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize