well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
