I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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