I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
