is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
