My hair reeks of homosexuality.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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