You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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