My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
