eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
