Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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