I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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