Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
