Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
