I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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