I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
