You can't special order awesome
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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