i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize