You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
