She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
