your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
