So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
