I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
