He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize