Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
