Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You ate ashes out of my bong
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
